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 Ain't no way you lose!

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Allegra



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Join date : 2009-11-24

PostSubject: Ain't no way you lose!   Tue Nov 24, 2009 2:53 pm

I just gotto start this forum off with some humour. This is where we need it most. Very Happy

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." Socrates

Of course - if happy or philosphy ain't your thing - she won't want you anyway.
cheers
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HeavenBound



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Join date : 2009-11-15

PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:03 pm

Spoken like a woman! Very Happy So this is for you...

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always - Rita Rudner.
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:26 pm

Right on! Very Happy
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QUO VADIS?
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:28 pm

And one for you HB .... Very Happy

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out. - Elizabeth Bowen
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:31 pm

Sigh... Very Happy Love is wonderful
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:33 pm

Very Happy Feelings can be heavenly.

What for you is the quintessential of love?
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:51 pm

Yeah. Get what your saying. Is what I think too. Love is action. It kinda came out in Socrates quote. Happy or a philospher. Have to stay for both. No quitting. A different time. Not like today. Today is just leave if the feelings have gone.
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QUO VADIS?
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:57 pm

I didn't see that right off. You're right. Perceptive... flower

Made me notice that he also advises marriage. Also a sign of a different time. Don't see that kind of pro-marriage slant these days much.

Do you think feelings can come back into a marriage if they are gone?
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Wed Nov 25, 2009 3:38 pm

I do actually. As long as no serious warps. If just 2 peeps adjusting and grinding at each other as learn to stay together then time can bring back the shine. Have to both want it tho.
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:18 pm

I have noticed that most judge love in a relationship on how they "feel" at the time.... and on how the other one "acts"....

And when we judge ourselves on our own actions it is usually in terms of our best intentions. Rose-coloured glasses that we do not use when assessing a partner in an unhappy partnership. Causes much frustration and heartache for the one targeted.

We all seek to be understood. It takes time and effort to locate the heart of another and not just jump to conclusions. An easy trap to fall into when unhappy with something.... especially if it is not a new issue. But it cuts no slack and is unloving... and only love and patience brings change....... lots of love and patience. A walk of love toward the partner. If we refuse to do this we do not have God's help.... walking in direct disobedience to the command to love.

Tough call. But easier than partner bashing for years. God gives the grace when we make the commitment.
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HeavenBound



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:31 am

Partner bashing = condemnation -> despair -> death to relationship
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HeavenBound



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:32 am

Allegra wrote:
As long as no serious warps.

What would you count as serious warps?
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HeavenBound



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Mon Nov 30, 2009 9:54 am

QUO VADIS? wrote:
And when we judge ourselves on our own actions it is usually in terms of our best intentions. Rose-coloured glasses that we do not use when assessing a partner in an unhappy partnership. Causes much frustration and heartache for the one targeted.

No way out of that box. Don't want you out.
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:30 pm

+1 HB

Satan is called the Accuser of the brethren. I think it is in Romans somewhere where it says... love leads to repentance... condemnation leads to despair. When I am condemned I want to give up... not keep trying.
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:28 pm

Me too! Too much! Makes me second-guess everything I do. Relationship killer.
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:33 pm

HeavenBound wrote:
Allegra wrote:
As long as no serious warps.

What would you count as serious warps?

Some real stuff... like lying, wandering eyes, stinginess, can't say sorry - you know - that I know he gets it. Negative. Critical.
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Kim



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Join date : 2009-11-29

PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Thu Dec 03, 2009 8:49 pm

What if already married?
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:41 pm

Welcome Kim Very Happy Good to have you onboard.

Interesting question. I believe Allegra is speaking more of relationship deal-breakers before marriage. I whole-heartedly agree with her list.

Only deal-breaker for marriage that I have ever seen in the Word is the act of adultery. Quite a number of decisions are taken before this stage .... and it is considered by the Lord to be a break in covenant .... because each sexual relationship is an act of covenant. If I remember correctly ..... to go from one sexual partner to another and then back to an original partner is considered an abomination in the OT. God does not want this for a union in marriage. I will have to see if I can find the verse.

We are called to peace. If a relationship is seriously abusive, then separation would not be unscriptural, I believe. This gives time and space for relief of the abused and counsel, and in very serious cases for protection. The Lord does not condone abusive behaviour and it is important that well-qualified and trusted authority in the Church be notified. Please note... qualified and trusted. More harm than good can be done by well-meaning but ill-qualified counsel.
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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:56 pm

Here is the verse in the AMP :

Deut 24:4 Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.

So I understand that returning to a marriage after adultery is an abomination in the OT. In the NT there is grace and forgiveness .... but is still a very serious matter in the eyes of the Lord, I believe ..... and He gives it as reason for divorce because covenant is broken. Some have chosen to stay with a partner after they committed adultery and work it out, but is a really tough call I would think. However, it can be done and has been done successfully. I have heard some testify to it.

Marriage is a serious commitment and not ever to be entered lightly. I also believe that marriage is blessed of the Lord and He gives grace to those who commit in marriage. Sometimes it can be really tough working through the "grinding" as Allegra put it... but no relationship will give as much reward as a marriage that successfully negotiates these stormy waters.
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Kim



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Fri Dec 04, 2009 5:03 pm

Thanks. And for the welcome.
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Allegra



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PostSubject: Re: Ain't no way you lose!   Sun Dec 13, 2009 5:02 pm

Welcome from me too! Very Happy
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